Dark Humour.

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NSFW Dark Humour.

Post by The MLS1 on Thu Oct 20, 2011 7:26 am

Post your dark humour jokes. Frankie Boyle esq.
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NSFW Re: Dark Humour.

Post by The MLS1 on Thu Oct 20, 2011 7:27 am

Move to Comedy Club. 50
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NSFW Re: Dark Humour.

Post by Kerry on Thu Oct 20, 2011 7:51 am

Thread Moved 50

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So I'll wear no convict's uniform, Nor meekly serve my time. That Britain might brand Ireland's fight, 800 Years of crime.
shamrock
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NSFW Re: Dark Humour.

Post by The MLS1 on Thu Oct 20, 2011 7:53 am

Cheers Kerry.
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NSFW Re: Dark Humour.

Post by JaggySnake on Thu Oct 20, 2011 12:44 pm

The only thing I hate more than diggers is autocorrect on my iPhone.

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NSFW Re: Dark Humour.

Post by Padmill on Fri Oct 21, 2011 7:56 am

Michael Jackson trial latest:

Dr Conrad Murray tells the court about Jackson's dramatic weight loss....

"Michael had gotten so thin that all of his pyjama's were far too big for him, but fortunately he could still squeeze into children's bottoms."
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NSFW Re: Dark Humour.

Post by Padmill on Fri Oct 21, 2011 7:59 am

I was just finishing my pint off in the pub last night when this really sexy black girl came up to me and said:

"Hey handsome...would you like to walk me home?"

"You can fuck right off hen.....Africa's 5,617 miles away!"
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Post by Padmill on Fri Oct 21, 2011 8:00 am

Just slept with a girl who had eczema.....

What a cracking fanny she had!
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Post by Padmill on Fri Oct 21, 2011 8:01 am

Paul McCartney is still finding it hard to adapt to married life with his new wife......

When she asks for a footrub, he keeps on reaching for the sandpaper.
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Post by Emilio on Fri Oct 21, 2011 9:08 am

38 Dark humor is not my cup of dead liquidized baby!
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NSFW Re: Dark Humour.

Post by Kennybhoy67 on Fri Oct 21, 2011 9:48 am

Hahahahahahaha^

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NSFW Re: Dark Humour.

Post by Padmill on Fri Oct 21, 2011 11:59 pm

A fat burd walks by a pet shop, and a parrot shouts "Haw you!"

"Aye, wut is it?" she replies

"Yer a fat ugly cunt by the way!"

Disgusted with what she just heard, she stormed off home.

The next day as she is walking by the pet store, the exact same thing happens. She goes in and gives the manager dogs abuse and tells him that if it happens again "Am foning the polis!"

So the next day, as she is swaggering by the pet store...the parrot shouts "Haw you!"

Thinking she is going to recieve an apology from the rude bird, she replies "Yes?"

The Parrot cheekily replied......"Aye you fucking know wut!"
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Post by Padmill on Fri Oct 21, 2011 11:59 pm

Some African bloke walked into my local pub holding a bucket this afternoon.

He handed it to me and said "Can you fill this up with water please?"

"Fuck me" I said..."how many miles have you just walked for that?"

"Fuck up ya cheeky cunt.....I'm the new window cleaner!"
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Post by Padmill on Sat Oct 22, 2011 12:00 am

Two liars were walking down the street when one turned to the other and said:

"See that cliff up there....I jumped off of it last night!"

"I know" said the other liar "I saw you".
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NSFW Re: Dark Humour.

Post by Padmill on Sat Oct 22, 2011 12:00 am

Man says to his doctor:

"Doctor, for two weeks now i have done a shite at 7am"

"Nothing wrong with that?"repolies the doc

"Well" says the man "I don't actually wake up till 8am!"
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NSFW Re: Dark Humour.

Post by Padmill on Sat Oct 22, 2011 12:00 am

A gang of dwarves were recently thinkg about robbing their local butchers...but in the end, they all agreed that the steaks were too high.
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NSFW Re: Dark Humour.

Post by Padmill on Sat Oct 22, 2011 12:00 am

My mate tells me he cries everytime after sex.......

Mind you, he is in Barlinnie.................
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NSFW Re: Dark Humour.

Post by Stokesy Bhoy on Sat Oct 22, 2011 4:17 am

David Murray is in crippling debt
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NSFW Re: Dark Humour.

Post by Romulus on Sat Oct 22, 2011 2:43 pm

What's 30 foot long and wrapped round a cunt?

A turban.
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NSFW Re: Dark Humour.

Post by JaggySnake on Tue Oct 25, 2011 3:07 am


The last time I saw Man United fans get fucked this bad, Ian Huntley got put in prison for it.

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NSFW Re: Dark Humour.

Post by Barney Stinson on Tue Oct 25, 2011 3:08 am

I just told you that. It did actually shock me when I read it earlier though.
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NSFW Re: Dark Humour.

Post by JaggySnake on Tue Oct 25, 2011 3:09 am

Same.

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NSFW Re: Dark Humour.

Post by Padmill on Tue Oct 25, 2011 5:06 am

JaggySnake wrote:
The last time I saw Man United fans get fucked this bad, Ian Huntley got put in prison for it.


:facepalm:
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NSFW Re: Dark Humour.

Post by JaggySnake on Tue Oct 25, 2011 9:04 am

Indeed, bad yin.

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NSFW Re: Dark Humour.

Post by fullybhoy67 on Thu Nov 03, 2011 6:00 am

anybody on that facebook page.......

getting shampoo in your eyes ? funny as fuck but but bad for racism
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NSFW Re: Dark Humour.

Post by CharlieMulgrewCentreHalf on Thu Nov 03, 2011 6:07 am

Q. Whats the difference between a pizza and a dead baby?

A. You don't fuck a pizza before putting in the oven.

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NSFW Re: Dark Humour.

Post by CharlieMulgrewCentreHalf on Thu Nov 03, 2011 6:08 am

What black,white and lies in a corner for 8 months?

Steven Naismith's Boots/
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NSFW Re: Dark Humour.

Post by CharlieMulgrewCentreHalf on Thu Nov 03, 2011 6:09 am

Q. How many jews can you fit in a mini?

A. Two in the front, Two in the back and about 6 million in the ash tray.
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NSFW Re: Dark Humour.

Post by JaggySnake on Thu Nov 03, 2011 10:27 am

"Good morning, Direct Line Insurance, can I help you?"

"Yes, I read somewhere that my policy covers me for in-car entertainment?"

"Absolutely sir. What is the problem?"

"A dead prostitute."

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NSFW Re: Dark Humour.

Post by Padmill on Wed Nov 09, 2011 3:36 am

Has anybody else noticed the gaping flaw in this whole Terry vs Ferdinand racism case?

Ferdinand isn't even Black.
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NSFW Re: Dark Humour.

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